Symptoms include: glazed-over appearance of the eyes, daydreaming, headaches nodding off, illegible scribbles in one’s notebook, anxiety, stress, drool, unawareness to surroundings, and disorientation. Some case – studies have reported chronic cramping of hands and necks. Special cases reported failure to snap out of the dream-like state and resulted in colossal confusion on exams. Fatalities are rare.

* Causes of this common ailment are unknown, but information processing overload and disinterest in the subject appear to be universal themes.

Luckily for me I was able to narrowly avoid slipping into this comatose state when I became interested in my research.

My anthropology 597.01 professor handed out ‘Analytic Paper Abstract Guidelines”…a few trigger words were already in the title of the handout.

Yet I trudged on unknowingly into the dark depths of a research assignment and came out alive. After reading all of the guidelines to the paper, and all of the trigger words had made their appearance, I began my thesis.

I will spare you details, but I wrote about the climate control policy in the Amazon and the effects on indigenous populations. My abstract only had to be 250-500 words to my pleasure. On word 506, distraction flew into my room. Literally.

After running out of the room in distress and from fear, I finally collected myself enough to grab a glass (aka bug entrapment device). I tip-toed back into my room and snuck up on the mangy beast. After I quickly assessed the best angle of attack, I put my plan into action. I HAD TRAPPED THE BEAST!! Mwuahahahahaha. ( insert scary violin music here).

That's the beast I trapped with my beast-taming skills. Impressive, right?

Actually I’m being a bit dramatic. But after reading about the Amazon rainforest all night, that bug freaked me out when it flew in!

Well it managed in distracting me, unfortunately, because I had become really focused and excited on my topic. I was on a roll!

Mental note: put screen on window to avoid repeat of massive bug invasion.

In the meanwhile, I know I can focus on this paper, and I won’t slip into an ‘educational coma’.

Unfortunately ‘educational coma’ is not a real ailment and you cannot have a doctor’s note written for it.

Good luck with your studies and all future research papers! I hope this blog gave you something to procrastinate with, the way it did for me! Oh distractions...
 

I'll admit it. I wrote this to procrastinate.

Your fellow procrastinator,

~Amanda~